FML, ya’ll

this/every day

damn, yall

been rough around these parts lately

rougher than larry johnson’s patchy, fug-ass beard

rougher than a pinecone up yr hindparts

rougher than ‘ball chaffage’ on the ‘12^th hole’

rougher than a

you get the point, yall

it’s been ‘rough’

maybe I should reconsider my lot in life

ppl tell me ‘oh, yr living the life broskee’

‘makin straight cash money’

‘dropping gees 4 foie gras’

‘rollin cigs with dolla dolla bills’

‘smokin the highest quality crack’

but I think they’re wrong, yall

life ain’t all about ‘cash money/goose liver/crack’

life is about drinking cheap beer during the nba finals w/o

having to worry about ‘waking up at f*cking 6 a f*cking m’

and also, moving in2 yr apt on-time b/c yr a normal person who’s able to take lunch breaks

instead of crushing 2 f*cking sandwiches in 90 seconds during some stupid f*cking meeting

with lots of hot air and flailing of limbs and blustery b*llshit.

not that I’ve ever experienced that.

but if I had I’d say, ‘damn, yall, what a waste of life’

think this whole ‘work’ thing may be  ‘4 the birds’

think maybe the ‘mickeyD’s worker’ ‘hit it on the head’ when he said, ’8 dollars an hr is totally worth a 40 hr week with lots of free time to ‘smoke meth’/shop at Wal-Mart/swipe a 24-pack of natty on my ‘debt-ridden’ credit card.

feel like the fast food worker may be this generation’s ‘da vinci’ yall.

all ‘enlightened’ and shit.

feel like maybe 52 hours/week at work plus 5 in traffic

may not be ‘healthy’ for ‘me’ or ‘you’ or anybody aspiring NOT 2 be ‘in a serious funk’

all. the. time.

just want 2 have time 2 watch ‘housewives’

maybe spend another 5 mins at the gym

maybe work on my ‘already ripped pecks’

maybe talk some more 2 the gf at night

maybe ‘throw some massive party’ when my neighbors are in Tahiti

maybe chill with phil kates

maybe stay up for the 4^th quarter of a basketball game

maybe watch a half inning of baseball

nah, jk about that last one

but maybe ‘sleep till 7’?

maybe not ‘kill sports casualties’?

I don’t know yall

they talk about the ‘american dream’ and whatnot

but the American dream is ‘tweeting pics of yr D 2 hot ladies’

and ‘not getting caught’ but then ‘getting caught’

and then ‘denying denying denying’ but then ‘admitting admitting admitting’

shit, yall… THAT’s the American dream

the American dream is blogging @ work on the reg without

fear you’ll get ‘tossed out the second story window’

THAT’s the American dream

American dream = blogging on the reg/chillin on the reg/workin on the reg

but not OVER the reg for some ‘not as bill gatesy as u think’ salary

America has failed yall

America is just a place 4 ‘welfare mothers’ and

part time pirates

and failed lion tamers

and dirty politicians

and unemployment

and loan defaults

and prime mortgages

and cheaters

and teen moms

and 4.7 APR financing

and double dip recessions

and groupthink

and ‘yes men’

and scoundrels

and shitty American bands

like ‘the hives’

jk, yall, they’re Swedish

… and they kick ass

but like ‘animal collective’

gawd I hate them

except that 1 good album they put out that had ‘my girls’ on it

that song was legit in an ‘entry level alt’ kinda way

but whatevs yall, point is ‘work eats a bag of ds’ as the kids like 2 say

I mean, the pressure and the stress and the long hours and the sweaty palms/pits

dude next 2 me ‘gots an ulcer, or 2’

dude’s thirty.

hope I don’t have an ulcer when I’m 30 yall

that’s like bleeding out yr ass or some similarly nasty sh*t

2 young 4 that yall.

2 young 4 my ‘face 2 b breaking out’ b/c of stress

haven’t had non-perfect skin since 10^th grade, yall

feel like I’m in a effing proactive commersh

probs with diddy/some hot babe who doesn’t need it like

avril lavigne… no wait. I mean

katy perry.

Kevin Durant needs proactive, yall.

real bad.

I think beck said it best: ‘cell phone’s dead’

I want my cell phone 2 be ‘dead’

never have 2 ‘chew the fat’ after work with the boss

never have 2 ‘break my blackberry’ by throwing that shit ‘off the dock’

never have 2 ‘field automated messages from my congressswoman’

beck also said it best when he said, “runner’s dial 0’

as in ‘emergency’

as in ‘operator, I’m seriously f*cked right now. I can’t move in2 my apt til next Monday’

Beck is the true alt sage.

Confucius can suck it.

can’t wait 4 the weekend, yall

can’t wait 2 ‘get crunk’ by ‘taking a long-ass nap’

and maybe ‘reading 4 work’

those’ll be some crazy times, yall

just me + sleep + malpractice suits

can’t spell ‘party’ without ‘pty’

which is ¾ of ‘pity’

Lebron james needs yr pity, yall

bros takin ‘heat’ from fat ppl

like chuck barkley and brian bratworst

I mean, ‘windhorst’

But not me. Don’t want the pity.

just need 2 peace out of this joint

4 eva.

take a trip 2 aukland

chill with the gnomes

sing an immigrant song

hit the pipe

under the midnight sun

that’ll be the day, yall

till then,

keep it real

the realest

<3, hilson