Casual Friday

Meet the new boss

Where I write everything on my mind in the time allotted.

I am in fact dressed casually this morning, or rather, like a bum. Rocking my favorite PJ shirt – the puke green one with the monster you’ve seen if you know me – drawstringless shorts falling from my waist and Alfalfa like flash of hair sprouting from the back of my head. This isn’t exactly NTK information, but I thought I’d tell you anyway, lest I’m kidnapped by employers (like right now).

You’ll be able to spot me faster when I escape from the white van.

I haven’t watched any basketball and the reason for this is simple: there is one TV in the house I’m still in and it’s dedicated, on alternate nights, to either Idol, Curb Your Enthusiasm, or – in a stunning, or should I say, perfectly predictable development – Real Housewives of New Jersey, New York, you name it.

Now there are, of course, two points to address here: the first being “why I haven’t moved into an apartment yet” and the second being “Kelly Bensimon over D-Wade? Really, Hilson? Have you lost your balls?” The latter matter is pretty easy to defend. My parents, who increasingly adopt my favorite shows (minus the insufferable Idol) and pass them off as their own, wield full control of the remote at all hours of the night. Add to this A) my 10:30 self-imposed bed time and B) the horror of watching an HBO serial with your Bible teaching mother… I think I’ve made my point.

To the other, more pressing (or less pressing if you were Phil Kates) issue: paper work is a bitch, more so when you’re seemingly inking a security check for EVERY SINGLE SHEET. Much like the Kuwaiti oil fields, I’m getting sucked dry.

Luckily, I’m a straight cash homie. Me and Randy both.

I cross my heart and hope to die with this: if I’m not in One Miami by next Friday… you won’t see me knockin back cold ones at the Clevelander come Saturday happy hour. Admittedly, this is something I’ve never done. But you get the idea. I’m SERIOUS this time.

So wish me luck on the drive to G-Vegas come 6:30 p.m. I-95 North Bound traffic and wish me even greater luck at keeping my eyes open for ’80s Dance Night at the ATL. Nany from Real World is giving Sammi Sweetheart from J-Shore a serious run for “dumbest reality character ever.” Give LeBron my best. Word to your mother.

Closing quote from QbytheU: “Barkley picked Dallas… That’s a good thing. PK and I were trading emails at 11:30.”