NFL Couch Potato Takeaways: Week 7

"Reunited and it feels so good"

Didn’t actually spend any time on my couch this weekend. Take the following with a grain of salt.

So I spent the first hour of this morning’s theory class pontificating on the oh-so-important [40 years ago] knowledge gap hypothesis. I spent the second and third hours scribbling football notes and drawing cartoon profiles of Jon Beason. Needless to say, it’s good to be living in the now, as opposed to living in the 10 hours ago. And kudos to today’s Dr. So-and-So guest speaker. You, sir, made me look like a regular Steve Ballmer.

Also like to send a shoutout to UF Polisci legend, possible undercover fascist and all-around German Thomas Biebricher, who gave me a excellent public speaking tip for which I’ve yet found a trump: If you want people’s attention, go tight pants/no underwear.

And we’re off!

• Big D’s complete and absolute self-combustion in a mere six weeks leaves me no other choice but to throw my full rooting interests behind the Lewis-Reed helmed Baltimore Ravens. Yes, it’s true, I shed a small tear upon watching Instincts force a fumble on his very first series back from a crippling hip injury, and then spent the subsequent three hours intermittently waking my downstairs neighbor from her afternoon nap. Ed “The ‘E’ and ‘S’ in Sports Casualties Are Blocking Out My Sexy Mug” Reed picked off two passes in his first game in almost 10 months, and on a day when a number of ‘Canes shined (see Gore, McIntosh, Moss), his exploits paled only in comparison to this freakshow:

• It’s becoming quite clear to me that, should the Ravens win a ring in the next year or two, Lewis and Reed will go down as the greatest defensive 1-2 combo in the history of the League. Now, we all know that Ray Ray is notable for a lot of things – inspiring the ”Robb Hilson ‘Do Rag” chief among them. But consistently dominating opposing offenses in year fifteen at the age of 35 may be this man’s crowning achievement. How long can he keep doing this? Butkus was out of the league by 31, LT by 34 (and out of gas by 32). RayLew, meanwhile, is busy gunning for a third-straight All-Pro season. On Sunday, he racked up 15 tackles, a sack, and did this…

Where there’s a will (and 255 pounds)…

• Piggybacking on the former point, Lewis is still the best linebacker in the NFL and there should be no whispers otherwise. With due respect to Pat Willis, my numero uno can’t play for a 1-6 team and, more to the point, can’t be named “Pat.”

• Seattle’s Mike Williams has 21 catches in his last two games. Yeah, that Mike Williams – the guy who made one of the greatest one-handed catches in college history, the guy who hasn’t played a professional football game in three years. Just goes to show what a change of scenery, a familiar face, and a slap on the ass can do for a guy’s self-confidence. Best story of the year by a mile.

• ^^Detroit is where careers go to die.

• It’s encouraging for an academically-inclined school like The U that Harvard can put a star quarterback in the National Football League. Maybe one day we, too, will find a quarterback capable of throwing a 15-yard out. By the way, Buffalo’s Ryan Fitzpatrick is the league’s highest rated quarterback since week 17 of last season. In those seven games, he’s thrown 14 touchdowns and 4 interceptions. Jacory Harris is rocking a 14-10 in his last seven.

• Felt two gaping holes in my Sunday afternoon – one from “Mad Men” and the other from Rex Ryan. The Ryan one was bigger. Obviously.

• Has anybody ever thrown for 400 yards and three TDs after flatlining?

Dead cat bounce.

• If New York’s no-name trifecta of Hakeem Nicks, Mario Manningham and The Other Steve Smith played in Dallas, they’d be hands-down the “best wide receiver corps in the league.” Nicks, in particular, abused the Cowboys’ Mike Jenkins Sunday night, which I’m sure, having played under Jim Leavitt, is something Mike is used to.

• In honor of Jordan Shipley’s first career 100-yard game, fellow undersized-white-man Bryan Holt downed an extra whiskey-water as prep for next day’s Spanish class. Es bueno ser pequeño y blanco, mi amigo!

- Robbie