Strasburg Expiration Date: 8/21

Thanks for all the great times, Steve.

Who do you feel worse for: Stephen Strasburg, the guy who dropped a half-mill on his Topps RC, or the President – you know, because nothing’s going right in Washington these days?

I’m striking off option one, because if The Strasburg’s career only lasts 12 Big League starts, he’ll have pocketed a cool $222K per inning. As Robert Reich might say, “He’s in the top 1 percent of earners.”

I’m also striking off option two, because hey, we knew the guy who pawned his house on eBay to buy a baseball card was a dipsh*t from the beginning.

Worse investment than MSFT

So that leaves me the most distraught for my friend and yours, President Barack “You’re Killin’ Me, Pelosi” Obama. I mean, damn, wasn’t universal health care supposed to preempt this kinda stuff?

For those of you who’ve yet to run into Tim Kurkjian (look down, he’s there), Nationals one-time phenon, current Prior/Wood legacy Stephen Strasburg probably needs reconstructive elbow surgery on the same arm he uses to throw a baseball 103 mph.

Strasburg was initially diagnosed with a strained flexor tendon, but given manager Jim Riggleman’s track record and the Curse of Larry Walker, we all knew a week ago that no. 37 was making a beeline for Doc Andrews. Hell, I’m surprised he didn’t get run over by the team bus.

Prognosis: torn ligament. Surgery: Tommy John. Rehab: 12-18 months. Hilson Medical Forecast: not good.

Now you’ll hear a lot of talking heads tell you today that this is not the end of the world, that guys come back “stronger than ever,” that D.C. natives “shouldn’t even consider blowing up their new stadium and drinking themselves into oblivion.”

They’ll point to TJ success stories John Smoltz, Tim Hudson, Josh Johnson, Chris Carpenter, Mo Rivera, Billy Wagner. They’ll say, “It’s the shoulder you have to worry about,” though will fail to mention that Strasburg was first put on the DL for – you guessed it – tightness in his shoulder.

Red Sox great/Robb Hilson lookalike John Smoltz

Buster Olney won’t, however, tell you about Jays closer BJ Ryan, who signed for 23 bazillion dollars, blew out his elbow, dominated the year of his return… then fell off the face of the earth. Ryan’s out of baseball.

And Jay Mariotti won’t tell you about former Rangers closer Jeff Zimmerman, probably because he’s going to jail. But if Jay hadn’t pummeled his girlfriend, he might be more open to telling you that Zimmerman underwent TJ in ’02 and never threw another pitch.

It’s true that a lot of pitchers retain their stuff – some, like Hudson, return as bionic K-makers. It’s also true that you don’t hear about the guys who don’t. Because some disappear forever.

I know one thing for sure: in sports, 18 months is an eternity. And so Nats fans, who will watch their godforsaken ball team finish dead last in the division for the fifth time in six year, have absolutely zero reason to check in till roughly Spring Training 2012. Even then, only to hold their breath for the next fateful pitch.

27-year-old has-been Edinson Volquez

GM Mike Rizzo, in perhaps the greatest understatement since Julia Lennon said, “My son has a future,” told reporters that Strasburg was “as you can imagine, initially upset.”

Adding, “The rest of us looked for high places.’”

Rizzo said no worries – that the injury was an isolated incident, not the product of overwork or gradual strain…

And that’s suppose to make me feel better?

Sorry, I don’t take a lot of solace in the fact that my franchise savior could decombust at any second. Nor am I thrilled that young guys who throw 100 mile-per-hour aspirin in their formative years have the shelf-life of a carton of eggnog.

What say you, Joel Zumaya?

My free advice to Bryce Harper: quit while you’re ahead. My free advice to Nats fans: step away from the ledge.

I’m feelin’ skeptical y’all. Have a foreboding weekend.

- Robbie